Eat Paint Chips

I think that in my next life, I want to be the person that names paint colors.  Some of these color names leaves me baffled.  My place of employment is really into Halloween, and we did a construction/remodeling theme.  While I was tearing down the decorations, I looked at some of the paint colors samples that were picked at random.

What sort of person names a color Banana Oil?  Does that person hate bananas?  Who could hate a banana?  If a person were to tell me that they were going to paint their kitchen a lovely banana oil hue, I would be hard pressed not to recoil and grimace.  I would not be picturing a blanched out shade of new grass green.  Banana oil makes me think of a yellowy brown greasy color, which is like the residue of fried bananas on a paper towel.  Only a person that hated bananas would name such a lovely shade banana oil. 

I think after a while the person who names the colors gets desperate. After all, they did name a perky peony pink color Apron. What color does Apron make you think of?  It makes me think of warm kitchens and fresh cookies. It would be a mellow off white from being washed over a dozen times with perhaps a soft blue tint to it from a stray sock that ended up in the wrong laundry basket, that is what the color Apron would be to me.   I can’t picture it as a peppy, perky pink that would make bubblegum jealous. 

I will have to look into this at a future date to see what sort of qualifications a person needs to name paint colors. I think I can do this.  I also think I might use my power to name paint to really mess with people.  I would name a paint color Existential Crisis. Can’t you just picture that paint color in your head?  It would be deep and profound and would probably make a great accent wall color. It would certainly be a lot more complex than Banana Oil and Apron.