The Sad Cupcake

 You can’t be sad when you’re holding a cupcake. My dear friend Faye, gave me this magnet. It made me laugh and I thought it was the truth. Then I found an exception to that.  When that cupcake is a lie, the phrase misery loves company comes to mind. 

Welcome to a story about a terrible cupcake.

My friend Nic is a vegan. A gluten free vegan. Being vegan and gluten free is not a terrible thing. I have had some amazing vegan food and gluten free food in my life. While it is not my way of life, I am open to trying new recipes. Nic wanted to make red velvet vegan gluten free cupcakes.  She found a recipe on the internet. 

This is proof that the internet is a cruel and terrible place. They looked like cupcakes. They tasted like misery and tragedy. Of course I brought one home for my husband to try. After all, what if they were fine and I was just being super critical? (Truth: Misery loves company and I needed someone else to be just as traumatized as I was over the experience.) I have never seen a person spit a cupcake out of their mouth so quickly. My husband might never forgive me for the cupcake betrayal.

Things that were wrong with the cupcake:

1. Texture - It was crumbly yet gummy, like it lacked the will to live, but was trying anyway
2. Flavor-It did not taste like red velvet. It did not taste like chocolate. It tasted somewhat nutty.
3. Icing- The recipe had described it as tangy. Tangy is not something an icing should ever be. I am pretty sure my husband described it a barf. 

Lesson learned. Be wary of anything that is mostly held together by maple syrup, coconut oil and optimism.  Thank you Nic for reminding me that cupcakes can be deceiving. Happiness is not always a cupcake.

Those Millennials

About a month ago I was having a conversation with a friend and she posed the question, “What do I think about working with Millennials?” 

There are not too many questions that throw me for a loop, but that one did, and here is why. I am a millennial. Or at least by the broad ranges the Internet has on the different generations, I am mostly a millennial.   

Somehow, I don’t think her question was about what my thoughts were with working with my own generation.  That would be silly.  I think the core of her question was, “What do you think about working with a younger generation, whatever it is called?”

My diplomatic answer is that there are pros and cons with working with every generation. 

As with any generation, I think that the key to working with them is to be adaptable to the human factor.  I find that the older I get, there are a few things that hold true no matter the generation.

1. Respect - If you don’t respect others abilities, idea’s and time, you can’t expect them to do the same.
2. Motivation- People are motivated by different things, based off where they are in life. An age group does not define motivation. It defines likely common goals. Getting to know people will help you understand their motivation behind actions.  
3. Age is not a definition -An age group does not define a person. Grouping people into age groups and defining character traits is much like saying that everyone that is born under the Gemini zodiac has the same characteristics. While some of the aspects may be true, it does not hold true for all. 
4. Education- Successful people never quit learning.  There is always something to learn, that sparks interest. The method of learning may change with each generation, but the thirst to do better or learn something doesn’t change. 

What do you think?

Name That Sandwich

I am sure that I get the best ideas when I am on the tread mill or folding laundry.  My mind tends to wander and look for avenues to distract myself from what I am actually doing.  I was folding the endless supply of socks when some jingle on the radio made my brain take a left turn.My brain certainly picks odd things to get distracted over. Part of it could be that I was getting hungry, or that I have heard the same commercial for a Rueben on the radio over and over again and it made me wonder why it was called a Rueben.  

If you were to have a sandwich named after you, what would it be called and what would be on it?

With no rush to get back to matching white socks with a logo in one spot to other white socks that have the logo in a different spot, I texted a dozen friends to find out what would be on their sandwich.  The results amazed me.  I feel like I have enough good recipes to open my own cafe.  Can you guess who suggested what as a sandwich? 

Creators: Faye, Nic, Hannah, Barbie, Erica, Ken and Teresa

• The Outcast
• Ingredients: Chocolate M&M Cookies with dark chocolate ice cream filling rolled in black sprinkles
• The Irish Gal
• Ingredients: Slices of Corned Beef, Dubliner Irish Cheese on homemade white bread
• The Descendant
• Ingredients: Capocolla Ham, Genoa Salami, Aged Sharp Provolone, Roasted Red Peppers on a yeasty roll
• The Gaia
• Ingredients: Freshly mashed avocado with scallions and caramelized onions mixed in, sautéed portobello mushrooms, dijon mustard, roasted red peppers with Mediterranean spiced sea salt on Boston Bibb lettuce on a gluten free Texas toast that as a thin smear of basil pesto
• Don't Heat Up the Bacon
• Ingredients: Sliced turkey, bacon, tomatoes, spinach, red onions with chipotle mayo  on toast
• PB on PB
• Ingredients: Creamy Peanut Butter with Strawberry Jelly on a Potato Bun
• The Sea Pig
• Ingredients: Tuna Salad with sliced hardboiled eggs, thin sliced Black Forest Ham and thick slice of extra sharp cheddar cheese with a slice of tomato and hand pull of spinach and couple of spicy pickles on toasted sour dough bread 

Thank you every one that gave me a sandwich order. It sounded delicious and I apologize for not being able to use everyone’s response. I was somehow was able to finish the laundry despite the grumbling of my stomach and now I have a bunch of new sandwiches to try!

Best Friend Quiz

Have you ever looked for something and haven't been able to find it? I was chatting with Nic the other week, and we ended up on the topic of personality quizzes.  The type of quizzes that take very little thought and is most likely going to sort your into Ravenclaw, even if you were sure you were a Hufflepuff.  This brought up a sort of nostalgia of when I was a kid and the quizzes were geared towards if someone was your best friend.  It is normally about 10 questions and if you can answer those 10 questions, you are that persons best friend.

I can not find that sort of quiz that I remember. On the bright side, the internet exists. There are some pretty intense best friend tests out there.  Some of them being over a hundred questions long. I can't believe how intense some of these test are.  TeenVogue was able to provide a simple 20 question quiz, that is deceptively deep.

My cat is one of my  best friends. Or maybe I am one of his, so I thought I would answer  the best friend questions of Dib. Surprisingly (or not surprisingly) not all the questions can be answered by cats. Below are the highlights.

I am helping.

•  What embarrasses you the most and/or what's been your most embarrassing moment?
• When I sneeze boogers all over my self and then eat them.
• What is your biggest fear?
• Being locked out of any of the rooms.
• How do you like to be comforted when you're sad or upset?
• I like to be held or hole up in my cube and left alone.
• What's your favorite thing you own and why?
•  My duck, it is special.
• Where do you hope to be 5/10/15 years from now?
•  Still alive
• If money was no object, what would you buy?
• Gravy, cheese, ice cream, feathers, yarn, opposable thumbs...
• When have you felt the most challenged?
• When Iggins joined the household.
• Do you have any regrets? If so, what are they?
• 4 feet of string and a weekend of laxatives and enemas.
• Which celeb would you want as your other BFF and why?
• Lil Bub or Tardar Sauce (Grumpy Cat ) or a blend of the two, because secret cat reasons.
• Which family member are you closest to?
•  Jon or the duck. Most likely Jon.
• What's the one thing most people don't know about you?
• I don't like ham or being held by my scruff.

Not Creepy

A few weeks ago a friend of mine remarked that I have an "old creepy house".  I tend to disagree. I have an old house. Anything built in 1923 and is still functioning definitively falls into the category of old. I disagree with the adjective of creepy being used to describe my home.   To disprove my friend on the adjective of creepy, I snapped a few pictures of my charming abode. 

The snap shots did me no favors in proving my point.  I would like to blame it on the Halloween decoration, but ultimate I think it is because I had it set to black and white mode that made it look more sinister than it really is.  This leads me to believe that things tend to me much creepier without color.  

To test my theory, I flipped a couple of pictures from my recent weekend in Colonial Williamsburg to see if it would bring them to a sinister light.  Any one who has been to Colonial Williamsburg knows that it is probably one of the most historically charming places to visit, complete with horse drawn carriages and people in period costume. It amuses me how easy it is to turn a charming garden pathway into a murder alley, or a tour guide into  someone looking a little unhinged that you might find in that murder alley. 

My conclusion is that my house is not creepy, unless you have a creepy filter and that it is all about the approach. 

Missed Holidays & Odd Beginnings

Through some of the many notifications I get on my phone about national holidays and international holidays and the greeting cards I should send for all of them, I missed National Friendship Day on August 7^th.  This could be one of those holidays contrived to sell greeting cards, since the reminder for the holiday asked me if I wanted to send a card, but I want to believe that is a genuine holiday designed to show gratitude to those special relationships in your life.   I wish I could write a sonnet for every friend that had touched my life and the impact that they made, but poetry was never my strong suit.  I will however share some antidotes as to how some of my best friendships started.   Just to keep it fun, see if you can guess which anecdote goes to which friend. 

The friends in question are: Barbie, Lizzy, GAT, Faye, Steph & Nic.

1.       They say that you are either going to love the person that sits next to you at work or you are going to become arch enemies.  After weeks of silent treatment, hairy eyeballs and suspicions of bird harboring in desk drawers, negotiations were finally made.  I tried to go for arch enemies and then Stockholm Syndrome set in.   

2.       The tinkling of bells rang in the air with every step she took quite literally. The best interviews are the ones that are done in Halloween costume, because you can tell right away when someone is nervous.

3.       And I said to her, “You will know my house by the snow bunny in the front yard.” After a moment of silence, she said, “What’s a snow bunny?”

4.       I was standing behind the registers watching the crowd for the midnight release, when she stops in front of me and hands me a bottle of drugs.  I wasn’t even sure if I had met her before that moment.

5.       “Let’s put this sweater over our heads and we can pretend we are fairies in a cave.” 

6.       I was walking down the mall when someone from inside one of the stores I was passing yelled, “FRESHMAN!” I turned and responded with, “I’m not a freshman.”  She just smirked at me and said, “You’ll always be a freshman to me.”

Please keep in mind that there is more to most of these stories than these few sentences.  The drugs weren’t the illegal kind, but more of the pain relief sort.   For those that are wondering who lined up with what story, here are the answers:  1=Nic, 2= Lizzy, 3= GAT, 4=Barbie, 5=Faye, 6= Steph.   It just proves that friendship starts in the most unlikely ways.  Happy Belated Friendship Appreciation Day!

Willful Intent

There was only one shark in my drink. I found it quite amusing, since the drink was called Captain and his First Mate.  I thought perhaps they should layer the alcohol with the gummy sharks, but I could see how a person might pull a filling trying to eat cold gummy sharks.  It wasn’t the shark inside my cup that I needed to be worried about. I seemed to be surrounded by them, since I found myself eating dinner on the Pride of Susquehanna waiting for the will of Remington Chesterfield to be read. 

They story goes that Remington Chesterfield was one of the wealthiest Americans of 1951 and he kicked the bucket mysteriously about two weeks ago and all the friends and family were circling around in hopes of a free meal and some extra dough.  Main players in this little mystery were the not so grieving widow, Amelia, the shifty eyed Lawyer, Farnsworth Billingsly, the long lost sister, Eleanor Chesterfield, the lover Renee Floozee and the young nephew Jack Diamond.  With a cremated body and motive all over the place, it is interesting to see who gets the big pay out.

I don’t want to give away the culprit in this charming interactive dinner theater of Willful Intent by Otter Productions hosted on the Pride of Susquehanna, but I will say that I was completely and utterly wrong on whom I picked. I obviously spent too much time pondering over the shark in my drink, catching up with GAT and Nic and making new friends with the lovely couple beside me to catch those little details to solve the mystery.   I am completely okay with that. The overall enjoyment of my meal and the good company completely overshadowed the fact that both of my dinner companions deduced correctly the culprit and won the drawing for the evening’s prizes.

Beginning and Middle of a Story

I am not a serious person most of the time. Anyone who reads this blog has probably realized that most of this is that is written is flights of fantasy and moments of whimsy. Sometimes a person needs moments of whimsy to get through the day, week, even next ten minutes. So, it is probably come as a great shock to many, that I do have moments of utter and complete seriousness and the thoughts of tyranny and terror do not constantly run through my mind.

We are about to experience one of those serious moments. If you want to skip this posting and perhaps read an old posting or wait for a new posting of something of utter whimsy, check back next week. I completely understand. I might just do the same later. Right now I want to talk to you about something very near and dear to my heart. I want to share with you NaNoWriMo.

A lot of people don’t know what NaNoWriMo is. For a long time I didn’t either and I had no idea what I was missing. The acronym is short for National Novel Writing Month. For those that participate, they just call it NaNo. Long and short story is that every November, from the 1st to the 30th you have the creative challenge of writing 50,000 words, which is equal to about 1,667 words a day, and are encouraged to do so through the non-profit NaNoWriMo website. The organization sends out encouraging emails, hosts lock in writing events and has a networking system to track information and promote companionship and goals.

Six years ago, I was part of a small writers group that was formed in the bookstore that the members had all worked at. We were official. We had a name. It was called The Bleeding Pens. We could write critique and edit. It was wonderful. My friend who writes for the Haveyoureadit blog introduced The Bleeding Pens to NaNoWriMo. I have no idea where she had heard about it from, but that is okay. We were The Bleeding Pens, we could do anything. We took up the challenge. Four intrepid young writers with nothing to lose discovered that 50,000 is not as easy as it sounds. With lots of encouraging, crying, drinking, and animated discussions, three out of four in our group finished.

Like all good things, they have to come to an end. The Bleeding Pens was not meant to last forever, but I learned a lot from them. Some of them I even still keep in touch with. From that time period of my life I discovered a lot about myself. I discovered that I love to challenge myself and I love every November with the anticipation of not Christmas or Thanksgiving, but the challenge of challenging myself. Doing something that feels impossible. Every year brings more challenges when it comes to novel writing time. Some of those challenges have been medical; some of those challenges have personal. I can honestly say that I have written four horrible novels that my never see the light of day much less a publishers desk, but I am good with that. I am a better person for that. I have learned important things about myself each and every time I take up this challenge. I strongly recommend for everyone to challenge themselves and to grow, either through taking up the challenge of NaNo this year, or any other challenge.

Lots of people put in a lot of hours to make NaNo possible and probably for very little thanks. They track down authors and beg and plead with them to write an encouraging letter to the participants of NaNo, while trying to keep the website running with hundreds of thousands of people using it, and probably a million other things that I am not even aware of. I have kept every single email of encouragement from every author that has taken the time to assist with this organization. It may mean a lot to the author or very little, I don’t know, but I know exactly how much their words have meant to me. When I have a bad day and I don’t know if I am going to make it through even the next ten minutes, sometimes I pull out one of those emails, or even a couple of emails and read the words of encouragement and it helps. It doesn’t make the bad day go away, but it does remind me of the personal challenges that I have succeeded in.

Go forth and challenge yourself and grow. Thank you NaNoWriMo for helping me challenge myself and find new directions to grow. Thank you authors that have taken the time to encourage me to grow,even if you didn’t know it was me.

Party Brilliance

Birthdays roll around once a year like clock work. Some of them are celebrated with full fan fair and others go softly into the wind.  Several years back my dear friend Nic was changing decades. For some this could be a very nervous and nerve wracking event.  Nic is a trooper and nothing phases, especially changing of decades. For my fearless friend,  I came up with the perfect Party Idea.  It is so perfect that I have tried this party idea several times and have had nothing but wonderful results.   I would recommend this party idea for anyone that is looking to surprise any one with a couple of years under their belt.

First think you would want to do is pick a victim, I mean friend, as to whose birthday you would like to celebrate.  I recommend picking a friend is changing of decades or  a random number that no one pays much attention to like 33 or 47.  Once you have your sites set on a person, the planning needs to begin right away. This sort of party needs to be planned ahead, but not in the time consuming way.  You would want to pick a place to have a party and a general idea of who you want to invite. Once you you get that out of the way, the real fun begins.

The fun is in the clues!

What ever age the person is turning is how many gifts that person is going to get. So if they were going to be turning thirty you would be getting them thirty gifts. Now I know that this sounds like it is going to cost you a bunch financially, but it doesn’t have to be that way. If you have your guest list, you can round up some volunteers to help with the shopping expenses.  My biggest suggestion for gift buying is not the cost of the gift but the wit behind the gift.

The is a really good reason that I recommend the wit of gift and not the cost. When you get the gifts gathered, you will want to start coming up with clues.  Each gift is to be numbered and then have a clue as to what the gift is attached or written on it. Coming up for clues is not as easy as it sounds. You want to give a clue with out giving it away.

Here are a couple of examples as to what I mean about clues.

Example #1

Clue: At Least it isn’t A Stripper

Guess: Wall paper remover

Gift: Couple of Steamy Romance Novels

Example # 2

Clue: Now containing Matcha

Guess: Sushi Roll or a Small South Amrican Primate

Gift: Box of Green Tea

Example # 3

Clue: Love should be fun!

Guess: Video Game

Gift: Heart Shaped box containing rubber duckies and bubble bath

Part of the fun of the party is listening to what the birthday person guess what they think is inside the box. By numbering the gifts and doing a random draw on numbers, it guarantees that the birthday person can not anticipate which gift they are going to open next and neither do the party guests.  If you have guests that bring gifts that exceed the number of pre-arranged gifts simply put a number on it and let them write their own clue. When the birthday person gets to that gift, tell them that it is one to grow on.

***If this post look familiar, it is because it is. I originally had posted this on my old blog, and I am finally moving some of my favorite pieces and reviews over.  I still think this is an excellent party plan, and have been involved in a total of 5 these style parties, and every time they have been a hit. ***

If My Cats Wrote Horoscopes

A long long time ago when I worked for some one less respectable, I had to be more creative or else I would try to gouge my eyes out with gummy bears.  With the help of an esteemed colleague that was in the same trying not to gouge eyes out stage, we came up with a mini news letter to relieve our pent up creativity. I got to write horoscopes for it. It has been almost a decade since I had the pleasure of writing horoscopes and sometimes I wonder what horoscopes would look like if my cats wrote them.   

Aries 3/21 -4-19

There is a fire in your soul, but that is not surprising since you are a fire sign, but be sure to keep that fire well-tended so that you don’t end up burnt out, cause nobody like burnt brisket.

Taurus 4/20 – 5/20

As prepared as you are, there are some things in life that you just can’t foresee and ninja attacks are one of them. As long as your realize this and accept it, all will be well with you.

Gemini 5/21 – 6/21

Broken hearts can’t tell time. If you don’t learn from the past you will never enjoy your future.

Cancer 6/22 – 7/22

Sometimes it seems like there is one drama after another and all you want to do is hunker down into a ball and wait for it end. But when you are curled into a ball of worry you are keeping all the worries to yourself instead of letting them go. Stretch out!

Leo 7/23 -8/22

Sometimes it is easier to react, then to consider what is really going on.  Going with your gut instinct will only take you so far. Eventually you will need proof to back up your actions.

Virgo 8/23 -9/22

The choices that need to be made are never easy. Sometimes you want to avoid it and hope it will go away, but that will only make things worse. Act now!

Libra 9/23 -10/22

You seek freedom. In order to truly be free, you have to understand what is enslaving you and why.  If you don’t’ understand this, you will never find what you are looking for.

Scorpio 10/23 – 11/21

Sometime it can be unsettling to live with your choices, but as long as you are comfortable with yourself and your conscience, it doesn’t matter the opinions of others. You can’t be everything to everyone and to try to be is foolish.

Sagittarius 11/22 – 12/21

This year might not have started out as the best for you, but things will begin to look up eventually if you keep a positive attitude to every new challenge presented.

Capricorn 12/22 -1/19

Finding what you want and sticking to your choices is not going to be an easy task. The road to self-growth and awareness is going to be filled with boxes of worry and bags of self-doubt.

Aquarius 1/20 -2/18

It would be good to reach out and strengthen the bots between old friends, because neglected ties will eventually fray.

Pisces 2/19 -3/20

If you stretch yourself too far you will have no room left for yourself. It is easy to understand and to want to help with others, but personal time will renew any dampening ardor.              

Okay, my cats didn't actually write these. I wrote them.  I wrote them a long time ago, but I figured they are kind of like fortune cookies, there isn't really an expiration date on  horoscopes. I would not trust these horoscopes, mostly because I wrote them.  They are pretty much utter horse hockey.   I how ever did successfully get you to look at 12 pictures of my cats.   It may not be a win for you, but it was a win for me.  

Virtue in a Grudge

It has been said that a person can forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.  I hold grudges. I am not afraid to admit it.  I am human. I hold grudges and that is okay.  I don’t think that holding a grudge is necessarily a bad thing.   I think that by holding on to a grudge it could be construed as holding on to your principals.

A grudge is a feeling of resentment harbored because of some real or fancied wrong

I hold a grudge against my brother. I hold a grudge because I cannot forget the way he made me feel.  I have refused to have anything to do with him for almost three years now and I don’t see this changing.  My brother, whom has always had a fiery personality, burned a bridge in spectacular style. He acted in a way of disgrace on a very important day for me involving my mother and two of my very dear friends as an unwilling audience. Then he refused to apologize. He placed blame on me and other members in the audience for his actions.  I had an option at this point. I could brush past the pain and harm that he had rendered under the carpet and pretend that everything was acceptable, or I could cut ties with him until he understood the impact that his actions caused and apologized to all parties involved.  By sweeping his actions under the carpet I would be condoning the action that I had found morally reprehensible, and it would eat away at my mental sanity and slowly blacken bits of my soul.  I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t do that knowing that sanity is not always my strong point. I decided that I would need to cut ties with him, hoping that by cutting said ties it would drive home the impact of his actions were not acceptable.

Spite is petty, and often sudden, resentment that manifests itself usually in trifling retaliations

Anytime you cut ties, it either goes with a whimper or a bang.  I don’t think that any one in my family has ever gone out with a whimper. I don’t think it is in our blood to do it that way. My brother did not take the tie cutting gracefully and for months afterwards would I would receive messages on my voicemail that were either trying to pretend everything was under rug swept or full of bile and venom that I was not agreeing with his point of view.  With every call, I felt that it justified my actions of no longer allowing him to be a participant in my life.  Eventually he proclaimed that he had apologized several times and that I was just being stubborn by not accepting that it was some one else’s fault.  In his apology he couldn’t even tell me what he was apologizing for, because he wanted me to agree with him that it wasn’t his fault over the actions that he had control over. 

Malice is the state of mind that delights in doing harm, or seeing harm done, to others, whether expressing itself in an attempt seriously to injure or merely in sardonic humor

I will not have anything to do with my brother, the person that shares part of my genetics and flesh and bone, until I get a complete apology and all those that were involved received a complete apology as to the actions that went on that day, not because I am being malicious and spiteful, but because I truly believe that an apology is deserved. If I were malicious and spiteful I would do a full disclosure as to the events that transpired that fateful day, but that would only at additional pain to those that were involved, and I have not disclosed sordid details about the events that transpired to any of the members of the family, or even broadcasted it among my inner circle of friends, because it could be viewed as malice and spite that I was trying to turn one family member against another. I feel it is one of those instances that the only opinions on the actions that had taken place belong to those that were actually there.  

I am not being malicious and spiteful by talking about this grudge. I am merely using this as an example as to why I feel that it is alright to have a grudge. It is alright to stand your ground, when your moral fibers have been vexed by someone that is supposed to be close to you.  I feel that if I did not stand my ground for my values, then I would have lost a piece of myself and become less of a person of worth and fiber that I believe myself to be. I don’t’ want to be a disappointment to myself, and I don’t think that anybody ever wants that.  If you have analyzed why you are holding the grudge and the reasons have nothing to do with malice, envy or spite, but a solid ground upon the values and virtues that you hold, then it isn’t a grudge. It is a moral decision.  Only you can figure out where you want to compromise at, and only you can make that choice.Not every one is going to have the same values. I am sure that my brother would love it if I would just let it drop and we can go back to the relationship that we once had, but if I did that then I would never be able to trust him not to give a replay of the incident that had start this trip of melancholy, but I don’t want a repeat ever. I don’t want to be stuck in the same scenario, because he didn’t realize or understand the importance of his actions and own up to what he did the first time.  I don't want him to think that a general vague apology would always work to fix a specific action. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. I hold this grudge that is trenched in my values and I sleep beautifully at night now. 

Friends, Fairies and Buddha Buddha

It isn't easy to make friends at any age. It seems like the older you get the harder it gets.  I don't know if it is because you don't have that constant influx of new people to choose from, or if a person just gets pickier about what they want in a friend.  When you are a kid, you get dragged into so many activities, whether it be a sport, or music or dance, and then you have school to try and make friends at. Surely some one some where will have the same interests that you do. It is inevitable.  Then once you make a friend you have to figure out how to keep it.  That normally involves a lot of trial and error, because what if the thing that you once had in common is no longer in common, how to you stay relevant?  A person can't stay in tee ball for ever.

Giving this some thought, it all boiled down to one thing.  To find a friend and to keep a friend, all you have to do is do something. It doesn't matter what that something is, just do it.  I know that sounds pretty vague, so I will give you some examples as to what I mean by something, but something is different for every one.

Doing something with current friends, gives you time to bond and something new to discuss.

For example:

In Glenn Rock every year for the past twenty two years there has been a festival.  Sproutwood Farm is the exact location and it caters towards those of a whimsical manner.  There are vendors of various shapes and sizes and plenty of people in costume, that ranges from goblins to fairies to a little bit of steam punk with wizards thrown in just for the fun of it. It is all mixed in together and normally comes out wearing glitter. 

A group of us went down (GAT, Lizzy, Barbie, T2 and myself if you must know). It was $15 plus $5 for the vehicle. It was nice. There were lots of shops and lots of things to see. A little bit like the Renaissance Fair, because you end of with some of the same vendors there, but that really isn't a bad thing.  The food was expensive, but everything we ate was wonderful, and as a small bonus everything they use could biodegrade.  There was live music, men in kilts, men painted green with only sparklie gold boy shorts on, there were women trussed up in corsets that made you wonder if they could breathe, much less bend over.  There was so much to take in and to look at that it gave us something to talk about for weeks afterwards, because things we saw could not be unseen.  The point was, that we did something, and there for renewed our bond. 

A wizard did it.

Making new friends is intimidating. I am not going to lie, I am not the most relaxed laid back person there is. I get anxiety of all sorts of things, and most of those things aren't worth the anxiety that I put into them. 

Example of New Friends

My dear friend Nic wanted to introduce me and let me get to know a new friend in her social circle.  I am awkward, so needless to say this was going to have to involve some sort of libation to get this accomplished. She knew just the place that would hopefully set the laid back mood that she wanted. Buddha Buddha in Harrisburg was the spot.  So on an awkward Thursday night, with a day that seemed to use up all the karma points I had earned for the year, I traversed to the destined location. Swallowing a little bit of liquid refreshment, I began to relax and banter (that could have been a good thing or a bad thing) and the little trio of us soon to a quartet. And with in moments we went from a quartet to a quintet and all of this was done with out any of us busting out into song. (Thank God! I can't sing or harmonize!) After a long evening of banter, horse play and high spirits, I left the evening with three new friends and secure in the knowledge of the linage of the cocktail that I had consumed at some point and a love for the crazy pair of heels that I was wearing.  The next morning was not easy,  (I didn't drink enough of anything to be burdened with a head ache or hang over) because my brain nit picks, and makes me wonder if I jumped though a rabbit hole or not.  I don't know. The only way to find out is to do something and see if the same results happen again.  Will we the group of us be just as charming, witty and utterly delightful if we were to hang out again. I don't know, but I do know that if I don't find out, then I will never know. Which leads me directly back to the reason to for this blog. To make friends and to keep friends, the only thing you have to do is something, anything, just not nothing.

And Elf, A Horse and Wolf Walk into the Woods...

From the secret video game journal of Nic:

"So I am rather new to the world of video games, I mean the recent world of video games.  I played on an Atari and then Mario brothers on Nintendo to death as a child, and I had a brief stint where my stepbrother let me play Sonic the Hedgehog when I was in High School, but that probably only equated to 10 hours of life of my play time.  But now with a shiny Xbox and all the DVD and blue ray possibilities it has, sitting in my bedroom attached to the 50 in plasma screen, it seems to beckon the need for some game time.  It also gives me something else to do besides just read or watch movies.  I invested in Portal 2 a few months back and beat the game.  Whoo hoo, go me!  Recently I have had more free time on my hands and I have decided to further pursue my mild video game interest.  So after returning some games I bought on a Murphy’s law day, I traded them in for a game I heard very good reviews about: Skyrim.

I am aware the I like role playing games, although I am not entirely sure how I came to this conclusion.  But the idea of an adventure that I can visit any time I want, greatly appeals to me.  I suppose it is the prospect of allowing me to escape this world for a little bit to immerse myself in another. Another form of interactive books and movies, yessssss!  The first night I played it, two nights ago, I spent a good 20 minutes just designing my character.  Other than some rather odd eye color choices, I tweaked and adjusted my avatars appearance to my version of fashion sensible liking. All the cheekbones were correct, chin adequately proportionate, and eyebrows matched nicely, nose fit, and even added some sexy looking war paint!  After a five minute debate on hair color and appropriate name choice, I was ready to go!  Knowing full well I am not yet a master of controls I wandered through the first board and followed my faithful gentleman who seems convinced I saved his life.  I followed him through the labyrinth of the underground tunnels, he did all the fighting (why is he fighting his own people again??) while I focused on following him (thanks for waiting for me while I check out this corner) and why my hand glows and which controls caused me to throw fire  (since I chose a High Elf persona) while I also wield a sword. I also realized I was apparently still marked for death----right, because I am a threat, ha ha ha!  I then muddled about as he kicked the ass of 3 people and I swung experimentally around with my sword about 10 feet away.  After successfully sneaking past a bear and stealing everything I could lay my hands on, and even after picking a few locks efficaciously, I was feeling pretty good about myself and had achieved the first objective, get out of the town being attacked by the dragon!!  Again he thanks me for saving his life??? Well um , sure, glad I could be wall art and still effective at saving your life!  Aren’t you the optimistic type! Feeling like I had accomplished something I decided I was tired of the game for the night and at a good stopping point, so I went to bed.

The next evening, I played again.  I idly noticed the time and their version of the date as I turned the game on.  This time I felt a little more confident about my controller skills and followed my faithful companion to Riverdell (Lord of the Rings enters my mind) where we met up with his uncle. I also noticed I had a hard time seeing, seemed like night falling.  After a conversation in the uncle’s house my companion and his uncle had directed me to take a message to some person up North (is there a rewind on this thing, so I can hear that conversation again??  I was trying to figure out how to remain siting without standing up and pulling out my sword!  Then when I did sit, everything on the table was alluring me to steal it.  How could I steal it when these people were offering to feed me??  That would be rude!  I suppose some of my real responses were going to play out here.) Oh crap,  I missed the entire conversation.  Well, I suppose I should leave.  So out the door I trot to be met with a jealous wife telling me to stay away from her husband. Um, all right, he wasn’t hot, but I get it, I did spend an inordinate amount of time shaping my face just soooo….guess it worked!   I ask her opinion on what she thinks of the war and she softens up, my obvious interest in a war over her husband appeasing her.

Not really realizing the local time, I determine I better get started on my quest.  I figure out which direction is north, and while I am desperately wishing for a flashlight or at this rate-fire, and I head out into the woods.  Within a few feet I hear the howl of a wolf.  I don’t pay this much mind even though before we got to the village my companion killed two of them.  Suddenly in the darkness I see this shape, and …..HOLY SHIT!!!!  My heart rate jumps up as I am attacked by a wolf!!  I fumble with the controls as I see blood smattering across the screen and hear my avatar getting mauled.  I press the button for my sword and the damn thing doesn’t come out, my hands don’t even light up.  Where went my weaponry?!?!?! I hit the button to take me to the screen to pick another weapon to delay the agony of my dying avatar.  I change weapons and click back out to only find I still have no weapon and the wolf continues to maul me to death.  I fight frantically, but I only see my arms swinging. Not a great defense against a wolf and thanks for that note that I am dying and I should take a potion, what so I can delay my death even longer with no weapons??  My heart  still racing as the adrenaline of the scare is real.  Suddenly, my lovely character falls over, dead.

Really?

First time for everything.

Whew, take a few breaths.

So I read the new screens meant to inform me as my character regenerates through its (thankfully) endless lives.  I have just learned I might die more than I wanted to.  I magically am back in the town now and I see the time again that I registered seeing earlier in the game.  I realize several hours have passed.  Oh joy!  I can just wait the night out.  That wolf scared the shit out of me and I realize it probably wasn’t the brightest idea to go into the woods in the middle of the night since, now that I pieced that together.  Got it!  I wander around the deserted town wondering if I am supposed to sleep or what and hyperaware of noises.  Might not be the best idea to play this game right before bed. 

I end up wandering into the inn and after I speak to the innkeeper and chat idly then ask him if I may use the alchemy lab, I accidently pull my sword and stab him.  HELLO ACCIDENT!!!  How do I pick the conversation that says “Sorry I am a dumbass new player and didn’t mean to stab you!!” While he draws his sword and he the barmaid make mincemeat out of me.  *Sigh*  Well that didn’t go as planned, my avatar falling over with a thud. Dead again.  Crap.

Reading more now while I regenerate.  Not all of it making sense yet since a lot of it seems to be history-But still cool.  Who doesn’t want to learn about dragons?  I am back at the inn door.  Oh thank heavens the innkeeper isn’t going to try to kill me again since I innocently stabbed him the last time.  Need to figure out my Freudian issue with playing with that button, especially when I am not in danger….  So I play with the alchemy lab and make some cool potion.  Nice!! At this point it is getting light out, so I venture out again and take another path different from the one I was mauled by the wolf on the night before. 

I get halfway down the path and I hear howling again.  God *%$(!)#$  who decided this blasted country should be swarming with wolves???  Thankfully I pull my sword in time and I had done some practicing on a tree during my stalling the night before and I kicked the shit out of this wolf.  I notice though my heart rate had increased again.  Wow, yeah, still not sure I should play this right before bed if I am going to get all riled up because of some image on the screen that I frantically am trying to kill.

Frantically I search the dead wolf while waiting for his pack to ambush me from above and I find a cool stone and I am allowed to take it’s pelt.  I have at least learned to check everything and take everything I can for inventory.  Amethyst stone, check, pelt, check! So I keep trotting along and find a random horse hanging out by a person who appears to be dead.  I jump on the horse and feel a little better that if I meet more wolves I can fight them from atop the horse, otherwise I might have a dead horse…well my wish comes true about 30 seconds later (why didn’t the wolves find him while he had obviously been standing beside this dead person for a while, and why can’t they go gnaw on her??)  I frantically draw my sword thinking I should be keeping it out at this point, and defeat the wolves. I hop off the horse to search them when I hear more wolves, you have to be kidding me??  I swing around and my horse is fighting, so I jump in and slay the wolf.  Well I think I hear another wolf attacking my horse, and in my still sloppy fighting I think I manage to stab my horse.  Next thing I know the horse is trying to kick the shit out of me.   Seriously?!?!  Don’t I have an apple or something to say sorry, I didn’t mean it!!  I try to run away and he chases me, kicking at me the whole time. I swing around and hit the button to jump back on him and that works.  Breathe, just breathe…well that worked.  So we move on. 

We come to a town, sadly not the town I was looking for.  Realizing I am still possibly a wanted fugitive, even though my not so faithful companion who left me to the wolves, said I should join the legion, I wasn’t off the hook yet, and this town had people carrying swords.  Hmmm….  But there is a large castle, so I sneak on the horse (cool!) to the castle.  Didn’t find anything interesting there whereupon I turn around and keep galloping away from the town.  I am trying to go north still and I seem mildly successful at it. I switch back out to the map and see I am nowhere near where I want to be.  Blast. 

Going back to the game, I accidently get off the horse, to find that the horse hasn’t forgotten our misunderstanding and starts to kick the shit out of me again.  Dammit!!  I try to get back on, and eventually succeed. I don’t even think I can leave the horse, he might make it HIS life’s quest to hunt me down and kill me.  We continue to wander as there doesn’t seem to be a path north.  I then come across some weird looking person who tries to throw magic at me, and I tuck tail and run. I haven’t mastered that yet.

So I wander over more of the lovely landscape desperately looking for a way to go north.  I climb this seriously steep ravine that leads north and oops!! Now there are two people who obviously know a lot more about magic than I do!  I try to go to my magic inventory and my novice skills get me killed again in a couple seconds.  At least in the reading this time during regeneration I learn that I can lay on a bed and get some sleep which helps my health. That sounds like a good idea actually.  When I am reborn again it seems I am still on bad terms with the horse though, maybe I will name him Nitpick.  By this point the bed idea appeals to me and I feel that I should leave this lovely world for the sanctity of my bed.  Obviously this Skyrim world is going to take me some time.

Today, I think, before I try again, I am just going to let my horse kill me and see if that resolves our relationship issues. I am not sure, maybe therapy is needed, but I don’t see many horse whisperers around.  Death seems much more like a solution.  Worth a shot, I think. "