Jell-O of Doom

I made a grave miscalculation. I thought that Jell-O Classic Recipes was going to be an easy cookbook.  I did not count of my lack of patience, or that I was going to have a breakdown of logic.  I think that any one that has the foresight and the planning to make at least half of the recipes, deserve an award. Almost every step requires you to wait at least an hour before you do the next step. It is not one of those throw together desserts that turn out awesome.  Jell-O is a dessert that you need to be committed with plenty of hours to spare.  I do not deserve any sort of award for patience when it comes to Jell-O, in face after this little experiment I might deserve an award for creating the most god-awful concoction ever in less than six hours with four ingredients.  You may think that I am exaggerating, but alas and alack I am not spinning a tale.  

Creamy Fruited Mold looked deceptively simple.  Pick any flavor of Jell-O, add any fruit to the mix and add whipped cream. I think I took “Any Fruit” a  little too liberally. Cranberries are a super fruit, or at least I have been lead to believe this through various media outlets.  Cranberries and Jell-O are not friends.  I thought that if I used a strawberry flavored Jell-O, that I find too sweet and added the tart little berry, the flavor would mellow each other out and it would be a symphony on the taste buds. 

It was a symphony of discord. If I was have truly thought this out, I might have realized that the whipped cream was going to cut down on the sweet factor of the strawberry and that perhaps whole cranberries were not best fruit to use.  I did not think this through. It wasn’t until I took a heaping spoonful of pink fluff with the cranberries lurking inside did I get the realization that I had done something really wrong. 

Chomping into a spoonful of raw cranberries made me feel like an old Gusher commercial where my insides where trying to be my outsides and that death might be a true option to escape the utter tartness of this super fruit.  There was a moment where my jaws locked up and my eyes began to water. Cranberries were not a good idea.  In fact they were a bad idea. A very bad idea and I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to be able to move my mouth again since it had seized up. The clenching of my jaw caused me to salivate, and eventually diluted the extreme cranberry flavor, which slowly unclenched my jaw, all the while drooling on myself.  I made a grave miscalculation and created the Jell-O of Doom.  

It seems like every step forward I make in harnessing my skills in the kitchen, I end up taking a step backwards in the weirdest way.  Lesson learned, don’t trust Jell-O when they say “any fruit” and never trust a cranberry. They will both betray you in the end.