Grandma’s Porcelain Doll Sanctuary

My husband often jokes that I am spooky. Not in a way that make an X Files episode, but  more like a Marilyn Munster. I have a list of favorite cemeteries. Spooky might just run in my family.

If you don’t believe me, let me share of an excerpt from an interview I had with my grandmother. 

Q: How many porcelain dolls do you have?

A: .......

Q: Would you say that you have more than 30 porcelain dolls?

A: Yes. Definitely.

Q: Would you say that you have more than 50 porcelain dolls?

A: Right around there. 

Let me pause right here. I think I might have entered into my sister-in-laws nightmare land. More than 30 but possibly less than 50 porcelain dolls are hidden or on display around the house.  If anyone had a fear of dolls, I can attest that my grandmothers living room would drive someone into the mouth of madness. 

Q: What was your first porcelain doll?

A: I had two dolls from when I was child.  They weren’t porcelains, they were bisque dolls. They crack easily in a hot attic. 

I looked up bisque dolls or biscuit porcelain dolls. And as per Wikipedia “Bisque dolls are characterized by their realistic, skin-like matte finish.”  Now I am trying not to think about dolls with realistic skin and cracked faces. My grandmother has a way of letting your form your own images in your mind. 

Q: What was your first real porcelain doll?

A: The first real porcelain doll was of Trish (my aunt) when she was a child. 

I am not sure if this is where I admit that my first porcelain doll came from my grandmother when I was 8. The doll looked a little like me at the time and lives in my attic.  I am sure my aunt is thrilled about being immortalized in a child form in porcelain. There is zero chance our souls will end up in these dolls. 

Q: Why do you like them?

A: I always like dolls when I was a young girl. I wasn’t able to have them as a child. The first dolls I had were rubber dolls. They melted in the attic. I always wanted a doll with teeth. 

I decided to look up rubber doll on the internet to find out exactly what my grandmother meant by rubber doll.  Do not search for rubber dolls!! Search for Vintage Rubber Dolls.  There is a big results in the search results. 

Also try not to think too hard about a doll with teeth. Every mental image of dolls with teeth confirms that creepy runs in the family.

Home for a Wayward Woman

 Wayward Woman

If a woman walked up to you on the street, asking for help, would you take her home and try and help her? 

The way I see it there are two answers.

A: Take her home and try to find help.

B: Pat her on the head and wish her luck. 

Jon and I took option A  and have discovered that numerous neighbors took option B.  I can’t tell if my neighbors are monsters or if Jon and I are suckers. 

Meet Nami. Short for Nonami.

She walked up to as we were on a stroll around the block.  Literally walked right up to me. She was super friendly and looked similar to a missing cat posters we saw around the neighborhood.  Jon and I could not leave her on the street, so we took her home and tried to find her owners.  I know that if one of my boys went missing I would be frantic with worry and furious if someone some them on the street and didn’t try to bring them home.

Despite the number of missing cat posters in the neighborhood, she was not the cat in question. No one wanted to claim this wayward kitty. Posting on social media and several pet finding site, we were able to discover the sad truth of her story. It seems that someone moved into an apartment that didn’t allow for cats, so they let her free. 

It wasn’t my plan to get a third cat. In fact anything over two cats can seem like the beginning of a crazy cat lady; however if video games have taught me anything is that if a cat walks up to you and gives you a quest, you take the quest. 

This quest involves giving Nami a happy life. Welcome to the to the family.

Butt in the Mail

 Butt in the Mail 

I received butt in the mail.

....

It wasn’t just a butt, it was cat butt. I don’t know if a friend mailed it to me or if I kickstarted it and forgot about it.  I do know that this might be the strangest unexpected item I have ever received in the mail.  I feel like if a friend did send it, I need to bump of my mail game. 

Of course my brain goes not overdrive with this mystery. Is this cat butt a coded message?  Is really saying “my  dear, you’re a rear” or  “enjoy this piece of tail in the mail?” I can name at least half a dozen people that could be the culprit.  Some of them being family and coworkers. For all I know this could be an invite to bake cookies.

 I don’t know the cat butt origin and maybe it is best that way. No culprits for the kitty cutter have been forthcoming, but I know that if I was to send one in the future I would be cackling to myself the entire time it was in the mail. So, if you are the person that is responsible, I salute you.  You have literally made my day and confused my husband.  Thank you!