Waffle House

When some one marries into a family, sometimes it is hard to acclimate and develop a real bond with the person. Other times it grows naturally and then you realize you can drop the “in-law” from the “sister in-law”.  This is my story on how I knew I had a sibling bond with my sister in law. 

A couple of months ago I drove down to visit my brother and his family.  They live a good  eight hours away by vehicle.  The drive itself is scenic and you realize that Virginia highways never end. They just loop back into themselves.  To pass the time on the drive, I started counting Waffle Houses.  There is a sign for a Waffle House every three to four exits like clock work and for whatever reason I wanted to know how many where from my house to their house. 

Unfortunately I lost count, due to a phone call, because while I can talk hand free in the car, pay attention to the road, I can not do a third thing of keep track of exit signs that have Waffle Houses on them.  When I do finally arrive their domicile, it is nearly midnight and I am way to awake to even think about crashing, so of course we stay up and chat.  

Before you know it is is close to one in the morning and I am lamenting about losing track when counting Waffle Houses and talking about my first time at a Waffle House, when it is revealed that there is a Waffle House not too far from them.  In short order we completely sober adults pile into a vehicle and transport ourselves to said Waffle House and order breakfast.  I get a sensible waffle with pecans on it, while Lisa gets a breakfast feast and Mike avoids waffles. Please remember it is one in the morning, and we are all a little punch drunk from laughter.  I have finished my waffle and I am making hungry eyes at Lisa’s waffle.  Before I can even say the words, she picks up the waffle and licks it right down the center. Staking claim that the waffle is hers, that she has her germs on it.   I am still shuddering at the memory. Waffle Licker.   

Instead of giving the waffle a good home in my belly, she had to traumatize it and me at the same time.  Licking an item to stake claim on it is a childish behavior that one does with their siblings.  I can officially remove the “in law” from my relationship description now.  Now I can’t even look at a Waffle House, without thinking about Lisa the Waffle Licker.