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Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Stephen Murderface Frogmonster


There is murder in that frogs eyes.  You can just tell that it is slowly plotting your doom as soon as it figures out how to get free.  My  brother has come up with a new way to torment me for the rest of my life.  He bought a Pyxie (Pyxicephalus) bull frog that can life up to 45 years.  In his infinite wisdom he has decided that if anything untoward were to happen to him, that I should be the caregiver of the ball of amphibian hatred.  This is not something that I am overjoyed with. 

I have tried to convince him that any of his children would be honored to be the keeper of Stephen Murderface Frogmonster if the end were to come sooner to him than his frog pal, but he just isn’t having any of it.  He feels that I would think of him every time I had to feed it and it would be the gift that keeps on giving. 

This frog can group up to nine inch big and eat small rodents.  Steven Murderface Frogmonster tries to attack and eat anything in his tank. I am pretty sure this is how monster movie start.  Knowing my brother it will probably break records in frog size and longevity. I am going to be fearful for my cats.  


I have started collecting southern recipes on preparing Frog Legs as a precaution. 

3 comments:

  1. Nooooooooo! You can't eat him.

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  2. One of the kids will take him but you are right he will live longer and be bigger than what he should be. It's not murder, it's hunger

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  3. The only safe thing to do is to fry him and serve him with sweet chili sauce.

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