Lighting It On Fire Is An Option

There are only a few things that I am actively not fond of.  I won't say that I hate it, more as I see the usefulness, but I don't have to like it. One of those things is still causing me paranoia a week later. 

Let me explain. I am part of a CSA.  I love my CSA and all the yummy fruits and vegetables that I get out of it.  I split a share with Lizzy, and a good majority of the time Lizzy picks it up and I pick up my portion from her at Zumba class the same night.  It works out well for us and we get time to chat over what we are going to preserve and what we are going to devour.  This past week Lizzy was out of the country and I was responsible for picking up both our shares.  That doesn't sound like a daunting task and in no way was that the paranoia inducing part.  

PIcking up the shares was the easy part. I even remembered to return the boxes. (I am horrible about returning boxes and give mad props to my husband who told me to just put them in the vehicle before I left so I wouldn't forget them.)  I didn't want to be saddled with not remember the boxes, so I just lifted the bags of produce out of the boxes and set them on the back seat directly behind me.  Life was good, for the moment.  

With the windows down I danced along to the music in my car as I took the back way home. The day was beautiful. The was shining, there was a breaze and the flapping of the plastic backs as they whipped back and forth just added back ground noise to the good mood I was in.

Then it happened.  I felt something plop onto my shoulder as I was slowing down to a four way stop. Looking at my shoulder was a giant beetle. I think my heart stopped and for half a second I contemplated jumping out of the car and throwing myself into traffic just to get this thing off of me.  When I say giant beetle, I don't me something the size of a grain of rice, I am talking centennial half dollar.  Any bigger and they would have been eating it in Temple of Doom.   I did this wild try to brush it off my shoulder with out actually touching it move all the while trying not to throw the car in the ditch next to me.  Throwing myself into a ditch and lighting every tin on fire seemed like a viable option for about 3 seconds. I don't know where the beetle went. It was off my should, which was very important, but here was no guarantee that it was out of the car. 

The rest of the drive home all I could imagine was that it was lurking in the back seat, wanting to be my friend and possibly knitting me a sweater. I discovered that I couldn't scream out loud and drive with my eyes open at the same time.  Also that if my mouth was open there was a possibility that it could fly into my mouth, so it was best that my mouth stayed shut and I screamed mentally.  Boy, did I scream mentally. I am not sure I even blinked on the rest of the drive home and I tried not to panic every time my hair brushed my shoulder. 

In case you didn't realize it, I am not overly fond of insects. I understand why they are nessicary and they are useful, but I do not want them crawling upon me. EVER. I feel like I deserve an award for being willing to go back into my car, considering it could have been making a colony beneath my drivers seat.   I still love my CSA and I am so sure they didn't put a giant bug in the bag just to see how adult I could be when it lands on me. I am proud that I have grown and that it has been almost ten years since one of my best friends ran around the house waving a broom to protect me from the terrifying moth that kept dive bombing my head, but it is still terrifying to have anything land on your shoulder when it shouldn't be there in the first place.