Swamp Chocolate

I wanted to like it.  I tried to like it. I didn't want to say anything negative about it, because if I didn't mention it then ,it didn't really happen, but it happened.  I fell prey to advertising.  Part of it was the something new to try to break up the hum drum of a work day and the other part of it was that maybe it would be healthy and wonderful.

I am talking about Super Rebbl Herbs; Reishi chocolate drink. The bottle proclaims it is dairy free, soy free, organic and ethical and made from herbs. I will admit that I did not know what Reishi was, buy my guess was it was sort of like Matcha, which is green tea extract. For those that don't know, let me tell you that Reishi is nothing like Matcha.  Reishi is a type of mushroom.  I drank a dairy free, soy free organic and ethically sourced Mushroom Juice.

I like mushrooms. I like chocolate.  I do not like the two together.  I also discovered that I really don't like coconut milk.  I wanted to see if there was something redeemable about the drink, so I flipped it over and checked the ingredients.  I recognized everything but the Reishi and the Quillaja.  I wasn't sure I even wanted to know what Quillaja was, but I was going to look it up anyway.

According to the various internet searches, Quillaja is a type of bark. Great. I drank a juiced mushroom, some bark flakes, coconut and chocolate puree that declares that it is not intended to treat, cure or prevent any disease.  I wasn't looking to cure, treat, or prevent anything other than thirst and by half way through the bottle I was willing to be thirsty, because chocolate should not taste like that ever.  This drink almost ruined me and my belief that chocolate can make almost everything better.  I don't think they put enough cocoa powder in the drink to wash away the swampy taste the rest of the drink has.

If you like coconut water, you may like this drink.  More power to you. If you receive any of the miracle super powers that seem to be side effect from drinking the magic mushroom juice, awesome.  I on the other hand am going to go back to my drab life of drinking water and back slowly away from anyone that offers me chocolate covered mushroom bark smoothies.  It is all lies and distilled truths.

Very rarely do I write about something I don't like, because there is plenty of negative in the world, but being duped by advertising irritates me. The fact that I drank it also irritates me.  I just want it to be known that chocolate should not ever taste like that. It was swamp chocolate in a bottle.