Brain Monkey Screams at Me

It is okay not to hit goals. Or at least that is what I tell myself.  Today is the last day in June, and I can without a single doubt in my heart tell you that I did not make my goal of utilizing every single cook book that I own within a year. I made a healthy dent in them, but I am not even close to being done.  I am not going to get through twenty cook books in a single day, and I am going to be okay with this.

I like having goals and when I don't meet them, then the little monkeys in my brain get all hyper active and throw horrible thoughts around.  They eat at  me and I can't help but think what I could have done better, or how I could have planned better. It is one of those things that can throw me in a mental rut until I reconcile the reason for not hitting the goal and what I am going to do to reach it.  I have had an entire month to brood over this when I realized that even if I pushed it wasn't going to happen.

Part of my little brain monkeys scream at me, If I not going to meet and exceed the goal, what is the point of having the goal to begin with! The rest of my brain asks, What was the point of trying to  use every cookbook you own with in a year? What were you  trying to accomplish, and did you accomplish it by not accomplishing the goal?   All the questions float around in my head and demand attention. I am going to address them, so that I can move onto other things and have the little brain monkeys shut the heck up for a little bit.

What was the point of trying to use every cookbook you own with in a year?

I needed a change and a challenge to change. I get stuck in ruts and food is just an example of that rut. I eat the same things over and over again and make the same things over and over again.  I get stuck. Attempting to use every cookbook I owned for at least one new recipe, would nudge me out of that rut and also help me with other ruts that I create for myself out of habit and laziness.

Did I change and challenge myself?

Short answer is yes.  It made me uncomfortable to do things that I have never done before. It made me broaden my horizon not just on food, but also in how I communicate with people.  I have always been the sort of person that will feed a person if I care about them, but this challenge had me talking to people and sharing my triumphs and failures.

What is the point of having a goal if you aren't going to meet or exceed it?

Something that I constantly tell have to remind myself is that a goal is a mark of measurement, but not all things fall with in the same categories of measurement.  I have to be realistic in what my capabilities are and be flexible in what the out come is. If I didn't meet the goal, does that mean it is unattainable, or is there another lesson that I need to learn, or did the goal become unimportant?

While not actually meeting the goal of using every cookbook with in a year, I achieved the result I wanted of challenging and changing myself and broadening my point of view. Just because I didn't make this particular goal, does not mean that I should give up and never cook again. It just means that I need to keep pushing and utilizing all of my resources and continue to keep trying new things and new recipes and learn to be okay with the results.