The Sad Cupcake

 You can’t be sad when you’re holding a cupcake. My dear friend Faye, gave me this magnet. It made me laugh and I thought it was the truth. Then I found an exception to that.  When that cupcake is a lie, the phrase misery loves company comes to mind. 

Welcome to a story about a terrible cupcake.

My friend Nic is a vegan. A gluten free vegan. Being vegan and gluten free is not a terrible thing. I have had some amazing vegan food and gluten free food in my life. While it is not my way of life, I am open to trying new recipes. Nic wanted to make red velvet vegan gluten free cupcakes.  She found a recipe on the internet. 

This is proof that the internet is a cruel and terrible place. They looked like cupcakes. They tasted like misery and tragedy. Of course I brought one home for my husband to try. After all, what if they were fine and I was just being super critical? (Truth: Misery loves company and I needed someone else to be just as traumatized as I was over the experience.) I have never seen a person spit a cupcake out of their mouth so quickly. My husband might never forgive me for the cupcake betrayal.

Things that were wrong with the cupcake:

1. Texture - It was crumbly yet gummy, like it lacked the will to live, but was trying anyway
2. Flavor-It did not taste like red velvet. It did not taste like chocolate. It tasted somewhat nutty.
3. Icing- The recipe had described it as tangy. Tangy is not something an icing should ever be. I am pretty sure my husband described it a barf. 

Lesson learned. Be wary of anything that is mostly held together by maple syrup, coconut oil and optimism.  Thank you Nic for reminding me that cupcakes can be deceiving. Happiness is not always a cupcake.

The Ugly Potato Alien

 E.T is an ugly potato of an alien.  

I may have made the ugliest pillows ever.  I say this,because I used left over E.T fabric that was used in the pop culture quilt I made my brother.  I do not understand  the love for E.T. He isn’t all that appealing or even interesting. In fact, I can name ten aliens that are more appealing than E.T.  

The E.T. Go Home List

1. Chewbacca 
2. Mork
3. Alf
4. Ewoks
5. Xenomorph
6. Predator 
7. Zaphod Beeblebrox
8. The Thing
9. Triffids
10. Dr. Who

How many aliens can you name that are more interesting than E.T?   Also- Is Predator the name of the actual species or does it have something more scientific?

A Toy for Iggins

If I was a better cat mom, I would have written about Iggins on his birthday. Instead I just now remembered that I forgot his birthday and instead I am going to talk about the nice thing I made for Iggins for his unbirthday. 

I am not a naturally creative person. I am a person that does an excellent job at following instructions. If someone else comes up with the idea, I am decent at following instructions on how to create it. I am not normally an originator in the craft world.  I bring this up, because this is one of the rare moments where I did not pull a craft off of Pinterest.  I made Iggins a cat toy that he actually appreciates and is not a random twisty tie or wine cork. 

Supplies:

1 Finger Puppet

Loose dried catnip

Needle

Thread

Instructions:

Acquire a finger puppet. If there is a Ten Thousand Villages near you, they have a wide variety of finger puppets for a decent price. I picked up a piggy for my Iggy. (Iggins is my Piggins) Once you have you the finger puppet, stuff it full of the cat nip. You want it in until the finger puppet is stiff. Thread the needle and stitch the end closed.  This is an easy toy to make and has been Iggins tested and approved. 

Do You See It?

 A few weeks ago  I took a picture of the dress I was wearing, because I thought I saw a goat demon in the pattern.  The next day I was out shopping and the store clerk was wearing the same dress and I had to resist the urge to to ask her if she bought the dress for the devil goats.  Somehow I doubt I would have been welcomed back into the store if I brought it up. If not banned, at the very least I would be  watched with a side eye every time I browsed the racks. I get the impression that would people would rather knowingly wear a demonic goat dress then accidentally wear a demonic goat dress.

I bring up the the demonic goat dress, not because it is a frequent rotation in my wardrobe, but because it is a catalyst of trying to unsee patterns. Today, I was walking down the stairs and I am sure that there is an evil clown blowing a kiss in the carpet print.  Now that I see the clown, I can’t not see the clown.  Do you see it?

If you don’t let me help you.  The clown is outlined in blue and he is definitely blowing you a kiss. 

This might be a sign that I need to replace the carpet going up the stairs, or embrace my inner evil clown. I am going to vote for replace the carpet.

Fangs

 I read. It seems like forever since I wrote about anything I have read. Most of  what I have read lately is stuck in the obscurity of fan fiction.  With that being said, I have just finished the most charming graphic novel.  Fangs by Sarah Andersen might be my favorite love story between a vampire and a werewolf.  

I adore this book. It made me smile and chuckle all through reading it. There characters are likable. The art is clean and uncomplicated. It is pokes humor in unexpected ways.   If you were ever in need of a gift for a friend this would be a go to gift. 

The Emily Challenge

 The Emily Challenge

I have a coworker who is an over achiever. Every month she takes on a different challenge. One month she gave up alcohol. Another month it was carbs. One time it was sweets. It is always something different and isn’t always food related. She does this with her significant other and it always provides insight to her and others.  One insight it has provided me as an observer is that I would rather Emily give up alcohol than carbs. Emily is much happier with carbs in her life then out of her life. Another insight is that there is always something to learn about yourself. With this said I am going to take an Emily challenge.  Emily has challenged me to write everyday for at least a month on my blog.  

So, here I am, writing in what feels like forever and seeing several blog posts that were started and never published.  I am not sure what I am going to write about, but it wouldn’t be a challenge if I had a plan.  Welcome to Day 1 out of 31 Days of writing madness. Or as I call it and will probably grumble over it as the Emily Challenge.  We will see what I learn by the end of it and maybe just maybe I would be considered an overachiever.

Pie Thief

My father might be an evil genius. Or perhaps he is just trolling me and it is all a joke and not a conspiracy to drive me insane.  At the very least, it can be said that he is a man that works in mysterious ways.

This past Christmas, my father gifted me five large ramekins. This in itself is not strange. My father has gifted me instruments of baking persuasion in the past.  Five is a little bit of an odd number, but not anything questionable.

The real mystery started with the discussion with my father on what inspired him to send me crockery. I am not complaining about the dishes, I am just curious. My father normally has something that inspired him.  This something that inspired him happens to be chicken pot pie.  The sort of chicken pot pie that has a flakey crust at the top and not the noodle concoction that is native to the area that I live.  The question I had was where did he get the ramekins. The answer I received wasn’t clear. 

After multiple conversations with my father, I have been able to deduce that the crockery came from some sort of place that sells these pies that can be heated at home. My father bought these delicious pies, ate them and saved the crockery. The ramekins are worth at least $9 a piece. My father assume that my husband would not be adverse to pot pies. He was enabling my husband to enjoy a pot pie life. 

The concept that a place will let you make off with their dishware is foreign to me. If feels like a bad restaurant model to replace dishes with take out orders. I have begun to research how to send a pie by mail and if said pie comes in its own crockery.  This search may have resulted in me sending at least on pie to a friend randomly. 

My husband has a theory that my father is absconding with the pies and sending me the crockery to coverup the theft. I do not think my father is a pie thief. However my father has informed me that he has acquired more ramekins. My husband lives in fear that we will be taken over by pilfered crockery.   The more I subtlety question my father about the pot pie, the more vague he gets.  The more vague he gets, the more pie I make, so I can bring up the topic. My husband gets to live his best meat pie life as this mystery continues. 

I have  fixed over half a dozen different pot pies for my husband and brother in law since the arrival of ramekins.  Maybe we all need to eat a little more pie in our life and not worry about the details of the crockery.