The Sad Cupcake

 You can’t be sad when you’re holding a cupcake. My dear friend Faye, gave me this magnet. It made me laugh and I thought it was the truth. Then I found an exception to that.  When that cupcake is a lie, the phrase misery loves company comes to mind. 

Welcome to a story about a terrible cupcake.

My friend Nic is a vegan. A gluten free vegan. Being vegan and gluten free is not a terrible thing. I have had some amazing vegan food and gluten free food in my life. While it is not my way of life, I am open to trying new recipes. Nic wanted to make red velvet vegan gluten free cupcakes.  She found a recipe on the internet. 

This is proof that the internet is a cruel and terrible place. They looked like cupcakes. They tasted like misery and tragedy. Of course I brought one home for my husband to try. After all, what if they were fine and I was just being super critical? (Truth: Misery loves company and I needed someone else to be just as traumatized as I was over the experience.) I have never seen a person spit a cupcake out of their mouth so quickly. My husband might never forgive me for the cupcake betrayal.

Things that were wrong with the cupcake:

1. Texture - It was crumbly yet gummy, like it lacked the will to live, but was trying anyway
2. Flavor-It did not taste like red velvet. It did not taste like chocolate. It tasted somewhat nutty.
3. Icing- The recipe had described it as tangy. Tangy is not something an icing should ever be. I am pretty sure my husband described it a barf. 

Lesson learned. Be wary of anything that is mostly held together by maple syrup, coconut oil and optimism.  Thank you Nic for reminding me that cupcakes can be deceiving. Happiness is not always a cupcake.

Macbeth and Cherries

Do you ever get that brilliant idea in the middle of doing something else and as soon as you finish what you are doing that brilliant idea is nowhere to be found, except for a few fragments? Yeah, that happened to me, and it has taken me almost a month to try and figure out what I was going to say. I am not even sure that I know what it was I was going to say. There is only so much procrastination I can do, which is why I have given up on brilliant and witty and just settled for quirky.   

About a month ago Lizzy and I were on a canning adventure and found a brilliant recipe that called for six pounds of pitted cherries and a whole bunch of brandy and along with a couple of other ingredients. I was in the middle of pitting cherries with a paper clip, I marveled at how very Lady Macbeth I looked with red cherry juice flowing from my hands like blood.  

“Sleep, Sleep, Macbeth hath killed sleep and shall sleep no more.” 

If there is anything that is sure to assist a person in sleep are the brandied cherries.  The wave of alcohol that could be smelled as they cooked was enough to make a person light headed and giddy.  They smelled like a Christmas dream and tasted like seduction. It may be my new favorite thing jar and possibly consume. 

My mother had several large jars of cherry juice that she wasn’t going to get to and they had found their way into my possession.  Cherry jelly seemed like the obvious answer.  Armed with a spoon and a pot and a quirky sidekick, the cauldron was set to boil.  I think that cherry juice looks like blood and smells like black cherry Kool Aid when it is swirling in the pot. The witches in Macbeth came to mind as the deep red liquid rolled and crashed in to the wooden spoon.   

"Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing,--
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."

I don’t know what it is about cherries that make me think Macbeth. Maybe they are just a comedy and tragedy all wrapped into one. It is all fun and games until you realize that cherry stain isn’t going to come out. Perhaps it is the versatility of cherries that can go from sweet and innocent to dark and sultry, just as a Shakespeare can go from comedy to tragedy in a blink of a line. I don’t know, but I do know that I will enjoy this season delight and resist the urge to continue to procrastinate.