12 Gifts of a Questionable Genius

It is that time of the year when people are thinking of giving gifts. I love giving gifts. It is fun to share some of my favorite things with people that I like and hope that they will like them too.  I have a coworker that often picks my brain for ideas on what to get people, because I am “in tune” with the “nerd crowd”.  I am mostly positive that she means it as a compliment.  (Mostly)  I think it is just that I have a weird sense of humor, and I only buy stuff that amuses me.  

My go to for gifts is almost always books, because I love books. I love the weight of them. I love the smell of them. I love their stack-ability and their easy wrap-ability. Not to mention, I love getting engrossed in a story and being able to share that with other people. I am pretty sure there is some type of book for everyone.  They just don’t know it yet. 

I am not going to turn this into a list of books to buy people, because despite the wonderful wrap-ability and stack-ability of books, I do like to mix it up and think outside of the box for gifts. Instead I am going to list 12 non-book idea’s to consider. (Spoiler- 12 book idea’s will be posted in a future post.)

1.        Geodes-

Crack them yourself variety. (Fun hands on project that is okay to beat with a hammer.  I would include the hammer, but only if the other person really likes you. ) 

2.       Tie-Dye Kit

 (There can never be enough tie- dye! What else can you look like your murdered a clown, without actually murdering a clown.) 

3.       Funky Socks

 (Everyone needs socks even, if they don’t’ want to admit it.)

4.       Grave Robbers from Outer Space 

(This might be one of my favorite games & it is a great stocking stuffer! I  might have to do a top 12 games list.  There are lots of awesome games out there!)

5.       Mushroom Growing Kit 

(Even people that can’t grow things can do this. I did it and it was awesome!)

6.       Road Trip First Aid Kit 

(I know this sounds boring, but there is always that one person that prefers utilitarian gifts and you don’t ever realize you need a first aid kit until it is too late.)

7.      Throwing Stars

(Embrace your inner ninja. Do it! I feel like this sells itself and doesn't really need talked up on how awesome and unexpected it is to receive a throwing star.)

8.       Head Lamp 

(Another one of the practical gifts, but come on, everyone can use a hands free flash light. Think about how the horror movie industry would crumble and fail if people didn't have flashlights to drop in the dark.  If it is attached to your head, you can't drop it unless you lose your head!  Total win.)

9.       Thumb Drives

(Easy, useful and can be found in a wide variety of styles to meet every ones needs.  I probably lose as many thumb drives as I actually use.)

10.      Cat Bus Plush 

(I have been educated by my nieces that everyone loves stuffed animals. I think this one is awesome, but if you aren't into anime at all, then perhaps the Three Toed Sloth plush is a good second choice.)

11.      French Press 

(Probably one of the most adult recommends I have, but it is useful.  It doesn't matter if you are a coffee or a tea drinker or if you are just looking to infuse something. French presses are pretty awesome.)

12.      Chia Pet 

(Nobody ever expects to get a chia pet. That is what makes them fun.)

 It was hard not to put my genius ideas that I am implementing this year down in the list, but I am sure some people will recognize some of these awesome gifts from past years.  I think that the trick to gift giving is to get them something that you would also like to receive, because it shows that you care.

Dysfunctional is the New Functional

It is the Monday before Thanksgiving. The wind is whipping around the houses and makings a howling whistling sound that would feel more at home in horror movies. It has me thinking about family and stress.  I would like to call it holiday stress, because this sort of stress only comes around the holidays.  Like many  people out there, I come from a dysfunctional family. I am not saying they are bad people.  They aren't.

My mother would a give a stranger the shirt off her back to help. My grandfather is kind to strangers and will talk to anyone. My grandmother feeds stray  cats.  I have a dozen aunts and uncles that I mostly only see through Facebook that are involved in the community, being positive role models and are being productive members of society.  They are not bad people, but just like the wind, they are a force to be reckoned with.

The one thing that all my family members have in common is that we all have strong personalities. These personalities don't always mesh well with each other.  So, if you are thinking of having that I am having one those Hallmark moment normal Rockwell like holidays, where all the family meets up at Grandma's house and gorge ourselves on ham and biscuits and pie. It isn't going to happen. Those expectations can cause a person to be stressed or depressed. I try to be neither.  It is easy to stress myself out trying to make it a cookie cutter moment and be everything that is in the script for Miracle on 34th Street, or I can be depressed that my family aren't members of the Get Along Gang and the only reasons we might be in the same room with each other would require a corpse.  It is so easy to swing between the two strong emotions. I know that there are other families like mine out there.  Dysfunctional is the new functional.

I am going to attempt the third option between stressed and depressed, and it is acceptance. I am not going to try to change them or me. I am going to accept that they are good people and that most of the time I am good people. I am going to have patience.  I am going to accept what I can not change. That is not saying I am going to bend over backwards  and I am not going to ignore difficulties, but more like take a breathe and think about what I want and what is important and go from there.

I am going to call this my Plan B.  Accept what you can not change and move on. Dysfunctional is the new functional.

Snuggle Kitty

Somedays are just made for cuddling with kitties and drinking hot tea.  This might be one of those days.  The weather is less than stellar. The wind is full of anger as it spits flurries at anyone that steps outside. Everyday can't be perfect blue sky's and warm weather, because if it was, I wouldn't be able to appreciate snugly kitties. 

Faceless Angel

When my friend, Barbie was thanking her bridesmaids, she had given each of them a lovely Willow Tree Angel Figurine. She had put a lot of thought in to each of the girls and found a figurine that made her think of them as an individual.  I know this, because I got one of those figurines.  I had received an angel that was holding a lovely green tea pot.  I am a huge tea drinker, even if I am not much of an angel.  It was a lovely thoughtful gift, and I was happy to be there for her through the entire wedding process. 

I want to state right now, that I did like the figurine, because of the sentiment behind it, but on a whole the Willow Tree figures kind of creep me out, because they don't have faces.  It is kind of like that Dr. Who episode where they lose their faces in the television. (Season 2 Episode 7 David Tennant for those that Whovians out there.)  Or even the Faceless Old Woman that secretly lives in your home.  (Yes, I listen to NightVale. It has ruined me in all the best ways.) 

It was an accident, but I didn't want to throw the figurine away. There was a moment with the vacuum where I was being lazy and trying to unkink the cord by shaking it out. That was a bad idea. The cord flicked onto the display case and knocked the figurine down to the ground. Gravity did what it does when presented with an opportunity and knocked the teapot, hands and head right off. I put the hands and teapot away to a safe place and set the head where her hands where to remind me to fix it.  I really need to write down where my safe places are, because I have no idea where I put the hands and teapot.  

I almost want to say that I would lose my head if it wasn't attached, but that was the only thing that I didn't lose. Out of a household vote, and because I refuse to get rid of the faceless angel, because I the sentiment, the head got glued back on. I don't know if the term "head in her hands" applies, but I now have a quirky figurine that reminds me of the unique relationship with a dear friend.  I can certainly say that cleaning is the reason why I can't have nice things. 

“Did you know there's a faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home? It's true. She's there now. She's always there, just out of your sight. Always just out of your sight.— Cecil

Name that Movie

I was on the phone with my niece, Hannah the other night and we were reminiscing  about last Christmas.  With us mostly talking about how annoying I can be, but how much fun it is anyway. It is really hard to disguise a DVD. You can put it inside of a box, to disguise the shape, but that is pretty much it unless you want to expend a lot of time and effort. Last year when I sent the gifts down, there were a couple of DVD's mixed in.

Hannah thought that since she knew it was a DVD and it had her name on it, she should be able to open it.  I disagreed at the time and still do,  but after listening to a teenagers  insistent and somewhat repetitive reasoning I was willing to give a little, even if it was for my own piece of mind.   I would let her open the gift wrapped DVD if she could guess what it was. Just like with any guessing game there needed to be clues.

This is where I get to be annoying. I limited it to two clues and she could use the internet (because, let's face it, she was going to do it anyway), but they were not going to be easy clues. I can still remember the way she rolled her eyes and let out an annoyed sigh and then demanded the clues, sure that she would get it right away.

First Clue:  The letter "F" is in the title somewhere

Second Clue:  Bill Murray

I was feeling pretty brilliant. Go look up Bill Murray movies that have the letter "F' somewhere in the title.  His IMBD list is as long as Santa's Naughty list.  I was only partially crushed, but not surprised she didn't know who Bill Murray was, after all she didn't know what X Files was either, but now she does.  The amount of guessing and begging for another clue was like a symphony of angels to my ears.  If she wanted to open that DVD before Christmas, she had to earn it.  Getting it right away, did not happen, and she had to wait until Christmas to open it.

Now we roll around to this year, and spoiler alert, there is another DVD in the stack.  I think I might offer the same game to her.  Hannah, if you can guess the DVD, you can open it.

First Clue: The letter "M" is in the title somewhere

Second Clue: The writer is related to comics.

I know these aren't awesome clues, mostly because the internet exists, but if Hannah can guess the movie, I'll let her open it.  Welcome to the new Christmas tradition. Good luck!

For those that are wondering what she got last year, it was The Fantastic Mr. Fox.

Secret Agents for Santa

I think my cats might be secret agents for Santa. Or at least that is the thought that came to when I was in the shower and Iggins sat there and watched me the entire time, despite his fear of being hit with a drop of water.

Holiday music is slowly amping up on radio stations, store stations and doctors waiting rooms. Whether you are pro holiday music creep or anti holiday music creep it is going to creep its way into you brain anyway.  Which is how the line, "He knows when you are sleeping, He knows when your awake," popped into my brain when I could see Iggins watching me.

Cats would be the perfect secret agents for Santa, because my cats definitely know when I am sleeping, and know when I am awake.  In fact Dib will grumble and meow just outside of the bedroom door, if I am just lazing in bed.  There is no pretending to be asleep to the cat unless you are the cat.

However, if they were the ones to decide who was being bad or good in the house, I think it would be skewed.  The number of times I have told Dib not to do something (don't jump behind the TV, get off the table, that isn't edible) are too many to count. I am sure in his brain I am being the bad human, because I won't let him do the thing he want to do, which if the was an  agent for Santa, would it reflect badly on me.  On the bright side, if the cats were secret agents for Santa, I am pretty sure I can sway their opinion with some canned cat food.

Read or Die

Manga R.O.D.

There is a fine line between a manga and anime. You may like one and not the other.  I have watched a good bit of anime in my life, but the number of manga novels I have consumed I can count on one hand. In the depths of my to be read pile was volume one of R.O.D. Also known as Read Or Die. 

Years ago, I had watched the anime by the same name and had enjoyed it. This manga is the inspiration for the anime, which is what made me want to read it. There is something fun about having a protagonist called The Paper  or Agent Paper that loves books. I think it speaks to me.  It is like if I had a super power, it would be something that I would pick. 

Anime R.O.D

R.O.D. is a fun read. The beginning of the story is a little weak, but I think it only seems that way to me since I am comparing the book to the show I know you aren't supposed to do that, but it is hard to separate the two, when the show is why you wanted to read the book in the first place. Anything can seem slow when you are trying to build anticipation.  I didn't dislike the manga and it was only volume one, but it didn't really inspire me to see what happens next.  

The insanity of it! 

There were some things that I had really enjoyed that gave me pause to chuckle, such as having a book as a literary weapon, and that reading it will drive a person insane.  A little Lovecraft nod, but something that amused me. There are a few other literary nods in between that pages that kept me entertained.  This is certainly not a serious read. 

I will have to check my book stack to see if I picked up more than just volume one and see if it gets better.  The story (so far) made me want to go an reread all my favorite books and immerse myself in a good story with a hot cup of tea and forget about the world for a little bit. I don't think think that was what the manga was trying to convey, or maybe it was. There is a certain amount of love and adventure that can be gained when you are reading for pleasure, and this volume reminded me of that.